What do you call a guy jokes are the ultimate blend of quick wit and belly laughs — short, snappy, and endlessly shareable. These one-liners pack punchlines that’ll crack up your friends, coworkers, and even your grumpiest uncle. Whether you’re looking for something clean and clever or humor that’s a bit more cheeky, these jokes are your ticket to instant laughter.
From funny Reddit-style zingers to adult-only punchlines, this collection of what do you call a guy jokes is here to level up your comedy game. Get ready for clever wordplay, hilarious puns, and the kind of humor that’ll have everyone saying, “Okay, that one’s actually good.”
🔹 What Do You Call a Guy — One-Liners
What do you call a guy who’s always broke? A non-profit man.
What do you call a guy who fixes everything? Mr. Depend-able.
What do you call a guy who sings in the shower? A soap-ranist.
What do you call a guy who never stops talking? A chatter-boxer.
What do you call a guy who’s always late? A pro-crastinator.
What do you call a guy with no smartphone? Lost.
What do you call a guy who loves fast food? A drive-thru dude.
What do you call a guy who reads all day? A book-keeper.
What do you call a guy who’s always cold? Chilly Willy.
What do you call a guy who loves math? Alge-bro.
🔥 What Do You Call a Guy — For Adults
What do you call a guy with charm but no money? A broke romancer.
What do you call a guy who thinks he’s a snack? A full-of-himself meal deal.
What do you call a guy who can’t commit? A may-be bae.
What do you call a guy who loves nightlife? A bar-tenderizer.
What do you call a guy who ghosted you? A boo-hoo.
What do you call a guy who takes too long to text back? A ping-pending man.
What do you call a guy who keeps giving mixed signals? A walking Wi-Fi glitch.
What do you call a guy who dates too many people? A serial chill-er.
What do you call a guy who only texts after midnight? A nocturnal simp.
What do you call a guy who calls you “bro”? Unavailable.
😈 What Do You Call Jokes — Rude
What do you call someone with no manners? A meh-nimal.
What do you call a lazy dude? A professional horizontal.
What do you call someone who complains all day? A whine-fluencer.
What do you call a guy who thinks he’s hot? An over-heated ego.
What do you call someone who’s always offended? A feelings magnet.
What do you call a guy whose only personality is gym? A bore-muscle.
What do you call someone who lies for sport? A fact-ory reject.
What do you call someone who doesn’t shower? A bio-hazard.
What do you call someone who gossips nonstop? An ear-polluter.
What do you call someone who acts smart but isn’t? A think-less.
🍑 What Do You Call Jokes — Flirty
What do you call a guy with a cute smile? Potential.
What do you call someone who makes your heart race? Cardio in human form.
What do you call someone who texts you first? A green flag with Wi-Fi.
What do you call a guy who looks good in hoodies? Husband material.
What do you call someone who makes eye contact too long? Danger.
What do you call a cute guy at the coffee shop? A brew-tiful find.
What do you call someone who smells good? A scent-ner of attention.
What do you call a person you’re obsessed with? My brain’s homepage.
What do you call someone you can’t stop thinking about? Memory hog.
What do you call a guy with pretty eyes? Illegal.
🧍♀️ What Do You Call a Woman Jokes — One-Liners
What do you call a woman who loves reading? A novel lady.
What do you call a woman who always wins arguments? Correct.
What do you call a woman who can cook anything? The flavor queen.
What do you call a woman who’s always busy? Miss Taken.
What do you call a woman who knows everything? Mom.
What do you call a woman who’s always stylish? A trend-setter.
What do you call a woman who saves money? A wallet warrior.
What do you call a woman who’s always calm? Zen-tricity.
What do you call a woman who loves chocolate? Sweet with intent.
What do you call a woman who never texts back? Mystery deluxe.
🌑 Dark “What Do You Call” Jokes
(Keeping them safe-edgy — dark but not harmful.)
What do you call a pessimist vampire? A blood-downer.
What do you call a ghost with anxiety? A worry-wraith.
What do you call a zombie with no motivation? The walking meh.
What do you call a skeleton at a party? Dead inside but present.
What do you call a demon who overthinks? Hell-bound and confused.
What do you call a grim reaper on vacation? A death-break.
What do you call a ghost who can’t haunt? A lost soul on probation.
What do you call a witch with no spells left? Un-magical.
What do you call a bat scared of the dark? A daylight disappointment.
What do you call a shadow running late? Behind schedule.
What Do You Call A Guy Jokes One Liners 😂
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What do you call a guy who’s always broke? Cash-less.
What do you call a guy who fixes broken websites? A site-uation savior.
What do you call a guy who loves math? Alge-bro.
What do you call a guy who sings in the shower? Soapranist.
What do you call a guy who eats clocks? Time-consuming.
What do you call a guy who’s into gardening? Herb.
What do you call a guy who’s addicted to gym selfies? Flex Luther.
What do you call a guy who can’t stop texting? Typecast.
What do you call a guy who tells bad jokes? Pun-ishable.
What Do You Call A Guy Jokes Reddit 💬
What do you call a guy who steals noodles? A ramen criminal.
What do you call a guy with no nose and no body? Nobody knows.
What do you call a guy who’s obsessed with cereal? A grain romantic.
What do you call a guy who’s afraid of commitment? A flee-lancer.
What do you call a guy who sells sea shells online? A digital scalloper.
What do you call a guy who plays hide and seek? Missing in action.
What do you call a guy who’s terrible at spelling? Typo King.
What do you call a guy who can’t stop sneezing? Snot-orious.
What do you call a guy who only drinks coffee? Brew-tally honest.
What do you call a guy who runs a meme page? A pun-thusiast.
What Do You Call A Guy Jokes For Adults 😏
What do you call a guy who brings wine on the first date? A grape catch.
What do you call a guy who loves spicy food? Jalapeño business.
What do you call a guy who’s smooth with words? A fine-print flirt.
What do you call a guy who dances too close? Personal space invader.
What do you call a guy who wears cologne like armor? Eau-verconfident.
What do you call a guy who flirts in DMs? Slide hustler.
What do you call a guy who loves candles? Wax poetic.
What do you call a guy who’s always late to dates? Slow-bae.
What do you call a guy who cooks dinner and winks? Hot plate.
What do you call a guy who texts “u up?” nightly? A moon communicator.
What Do You Call Jokes Rude 🙈
What do you call someone who interrupts jokes? An un-funnished person.
What do you call someone who ghosts mid-chat? WiFi trash.
What do you call someone who can’t take a joke? Comment section material.
What do you call someone who fakes laughter? Laugh-icrous.
What do you call a person who eats your fries? A snack thief.
What do you call someone who lies about their height? Short notice.
What do you call someone who’s mean online? A keyboard coward.
What do you call someone who flirts but never replies? Textless wonder.
What do you call someone with too many red flags? A parade.
What do you call someone rude at dinner? Table menace.
Funny What Do You Call Jokes For Adults 😂
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
What do you call a guy standing by the door? Matt.
What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.
What do you call a guy without a shovel? Douglas.
What do you call a man who always looks tired? Pete Repeat.
What do you call a guy who can’t stop talking? Chatty McTalkface.
What do you call a man with a car obsession? Auto-matically in love.
What Do You Call Jokes Flirty 😉
What do you call a guy who texts first every time? Keeper.
What do you call someone who makes you smile too much? Trouble.
What do you call a guy who compliments perfectly? A-liner.
What do you call a girl who laughs at all your jokes? The one.
What do you call a guy who cooks and flirts? Recipe for love.
What do you call someone who melts your heart? Microwa-bae.
What do you call someone with dreamy eyes? Hypnotist.
What do you call someone who gives good hugs? Wrap star.
What do you call a guy who knows your coffee order? Soul brewer.
What do you call someone who makes your heart skip? DJ Crush.
What Do You Call Jokes Dark 🕶️
What do you call a ghost’s favorite party trick? Boo-ty pop.
What do you call a vampire accountant? Count Cashula.
What do you call a skeleton who won’t fight? Lazy bones.
What do you call a zombie comedian? Deadpan humorist.
What do you call a haunted baker? Dough-ghoul.
What do you call a mummy’s crush? Wrap-ture.
What do you call a funeral DJ? Dead mix master.
What do you call a werewolf barber? Hair-raising stylist.
What do you call a dark humor fan? Pun-isher.
What do you call a ghost on Tinder? Swipe specter.
What Do You Call A Woman Jokes One Liners 💁♀️
What do you call a woman who fixes everything? Miss Dependable.
What do you call a woman who can drive a manual car? Clutch Queen.
What do you call a woman who loves puns? Pun-cess.
What do you call a woman who loves math? Add-orable.
What do you call a woman with great timing? Clock Star.
What do you call a woman who plays the guitar? Strum Goddess.
What do you call a woman who owns a bakery? Flour Power.
What do you call a woman who never stops smiling? Grinspiration.
What do you call a woman who loves mystery novels? Clue-tiful.
What do you call a woman who rules the kitchen? Saucy Lady.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Always Cold?
Jack Frost.
Chill Will.
Ice-man Stan.
Luke Warm.
Froze Joe.
Shiverin’ Kevin.
Nippy Nicky.
Cool Carl.
Freezin’ Steven.
Frostbite Dwight.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Always Lying Down?
Matt.
Flat Pat.
Laid-back Zach.
Doze-n Joe.
Nap King Cole.
Restin’ Weston.
Horizontal Harold.
Pillow Bill-o.
Slouchy Grouchy.
Recline Ryan.
What Do You Call a Guy With No Arms and No Legs in a Pool?
Bob.
Splash Stan.
Wade.
Floatin’ Joe.
Swimless Tim.
Paddlin’ Pat.
Driftin’ Cliff.
Soakin’ Logan.
Water Walt.
Just…Bob again.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Always Late?
Justin Time.
Last-Minute Max.
Behind Bryan.
Waitin’ Peyton.
Delay Ray.
Staller Pauler.
Crawlin’ Colin.
Snooze Cruz.
L8 Nate.
Tardy Marty.
What Do You Call a Guy Who Plays Guitar?
Strummy Tommy.
Pick Rick.
Cord Gord.
Fretty Teddy.
Solo Lolo.
Plucky Ducky (don’t ask).
Axe Max.
Bendy Lenny.
Gig Greg.
Tune Boone.
What Do You Call a Guy in a Pile of Leaves?
Russel.
Crunchy Munchy.
Leaf Erickson.
Pile Kyle.
Autumn Adam.
Rake Jake.
Fallen Colin.
Branchy Stan.
Blowin’ Owen.
Mowin’ Rowan.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s a Magician?
Al Kazam Sam.
Hocus Bro-cus.
Wand-y Randy.
Cardin’ Martin.
Illusion Lou.
Hat Trick Rick.
Disappear Pierre.
Spellin’ Melvin.
Pullin’ Dylan.
Mystical Chris.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s a Baker?
Dough Joe.
Flaky Jakey.
Rollin’ Nolan.
Muffin Stan.
Crusty Dusty.
Sift Cliff.
Icing Tyson.
Batter Matty.
Cake Jake.
Flan Dan.
What Do You Call a Guy Who Can’t Stop Laughing?
Giggle Miguel.
Chuckle Buckle.
Cacklin’ Mack.
Snortin’ Norton.
Jester Chester.
Hee-Hee Lee.
Laffy Raffy.
ROFLolf.
Hyena Dean-a.
Zany Danny.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Always Fishing?
Reel Neil.
Hook Luke.
Bait Nate.
Lure Stuart.
Catch Patch.
Trout Scout.
Finny Vinny.
Cast Bast.
Bobber Robber.
Bass Chaz.
What Do You Call a Guy in the Mailbox?
Bill.
Post Malone.
Letter Fredder.
Stamp Champ.
Parcel Marcel.
Boxy Roxy.
Deliver Trevor.
Snail Dale.
Slot Scott.
Mail Gale (it’s short for Galebert, okay?).
What Do You Call a Guy Who Sings Opera?
Ari-ari-Aryan.
Tenor Ken.
Alto Al.
Bravo Dave-o.
La La Larry.
Falsetto Gino.
Baritone Tyrone.
Mezzo Enzo.
High Note Boat.
Belty Kelty.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s a Clown?
Bozo Joe.
Squeaky Ricky.
Wacky Jacky.
Honk Donk.
Goofy Roofy.
Gag Mag.
Red Nose Mose.
Tickle Mickle.
Wiggy Ziggy.
Popcorn Corny.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s a Spy?
Stealth Ralph.
Agent Trent.
James Blunt.
Sneaky Nicky.
Decode Brode.
Tiptoe Moe.
Secret Pete.
Covert Bert.
Zoom Zane.
Mission Griffin.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s a Chef?
Chop Pop.
Slice Bryce.
Stir Gurr.
Flambé Jay.
Sauté Ray.
Boil Doyle.
Grill Bill.
Toast Ghost.
Plate Nate.
Gordon Rameat.
What Do You Call a Guy Who Paints?
Brush Rush.
Splatter Matt.
Hue Lou.
Pigment Trent.
Canvas Dan.
Color Fuller.
Stroke Broke.
Gallery Barry.
Dab Gab.
Frame Dame.
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Obsessed With Puns?
Pun-son.
Wordy Gordy.
Jest Quest.
Groan Zone.
Chuckle Buckle (he’s back!).
Quip Kip.
Gag Swag.
Rhymey Jaime.
Zinger Dinger.
You. (Let’s be honest.)
What Do You Call a Guy Who’s Super Rich?
Cash Nash.
Dough Moe.
Bank Hank.
Wallet Wyatt.
Loaded Brody.
Fortune Norton.
Bling King.
PayDay Ray.
Luxe Jax.
Cha-Ching Ming.
What Do You Call a Guy With No Job?
Stan-by.
Chill Phil.
Couch Clive.
Layoff Jayoff.
Homer Domer.
Slack Mac.
Outta Routa.
Freeload Claude.
Netflix Rex.
Wi-Fi Ty.
What Do You Call a Guy Who Ends an Article?
Outro Joe.
Final Kyle.
Bye-Bye Ty.
Signoff Roff.
Wrap Zack.
Closer Grover.
End Friend.
Curtain Curt.
Finny Vinny.
The Last Laugh!
FAQs
1. What are “What do you call a guy” jokes?
They’re short, name-based puns that play on word meanings and personality traits — like “What do you call a guy who’s cold? Jack Frost!”
2. Are these jokes appropriate for kids?
Absolutely! These are clean, silly, and safe for all ages.
3. Can I use these jokes for Instagram captions?
Totally! They’re punchy and perfect for IG bios, captions, or story highlights.
4. Where did this joke style come from?
It’s a classic format rooted in dad joke humor and wordplay traditions.
5. Can I make up my own guy jokes?
Yes! Just think of a trait or action, then find a name or pun to match it.
6. Are there “What do you call a girl…” jokes too?
You bet! Let me know and I’ll create a 200+ pun article for that too.
7. What’s the best joke in this list?
Tough call, but “Justin Time” is a crowd favorite!
8. Can I turn these into a joke book or card game?
With permission, yes — these are great for creative products.
9. Do people still love puns in 2025?
Always. Puns are timeless, charming, and endlessly sharable.
10. Where can I find more jokes like this?
Right at PunsPlanet.com — your daily dose of dad jokes, puns, and laughter therapy.
Conclusion
From punny pool jokes to name-based nonsense, these “What do you call a guy…” gags prove that humor doesn’t have to be complicated — just clever, quick, and a little bit goofy. 😄 Whether you’re telling jokes at a party, looking for a caption, or just in the mood to laugh, there’s a “guy” pun for every occasion.
