Not every joke is a home run. Some barely make it out of the dugout. Some never leave the bat. But in the world of comedy, unfunny jokes have their own magical charm. They’re the kings of awkward silence, the emperors of anti-punchlines, and the masters of the mysterious “Why did you say that?”
This collection of 245+ unfunny jokes is so bad, it’s a work of art. They’re great for confusing your friends, impressing no one, and creating tension at dinner parties. You’ve been warned.
Jokes That Go Nowhere
Why did the tomato sit down?
It was tired.What do you call a dog with no nose?
I don’t know.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Me.Why did the calendar feel empty?
Because it had no date.What do you get when you cross a pencil and a shoe?
Something weird.How do you organize a party in space?
You can’t.What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.What’s the best time to eat dinner?
Before you’re hungry.Want to hear a construction joke?
I’m still working on it.What did one wall say to the other?
…Nothing. Walls don’t talk.
Painfully Obvious Punchlines
What’s 2 + 2?
Four.Why did the man bring an umbrella?
It looked like rain.What did the chef say after cooking?
“Dinner is ready.”Why was the room cold?
The window was open.What happens when you sleep?
You rest.Why don’t people eat batteries?
Because they’re not food.How do birds fly?
They flap their wings.What did the fish say when it swam?
Nothing. It’s a fish.What did the light switch do?
Turn on the light.What do cows drink?
Water.
Jokes with Awkward Timing
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
…Sorry, I forgot the punchline.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I’m not sure.Why did the bicycle fall over?
Give me a second…What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Uh, it was a carrot, I think?Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side?
He’s all right… maybe?Why did the chicken cross the road?
Wait… I’m doing this wrong.Two muffins are in an oven—
Actually, never mind.What do you call a group of musical whales?
Oh no, that’s not how it goes.A duck walks into a store—
…Forget it.What do you get when you cross a joke with no end…
Dead-End Jokes
I was going to tell a joke about elevators, but it’s an uplifting topic.
Did you hear the one about the paper?
It’s tearable.I wrote a joke on a napkin.
Then I threw it away.Why don’t I tell time-travel jokes?
You didn’t like them.This joke has no punchline.
Just like my life.I’m on a seafood diet.
Never mind, you’ve heard it.I invented a pencil with two erasers.
It didn’t work.This one’s my favorite joke… wait, I forgot it.
What’s the best way to end a joke?
(End scene.)I had a joke, but my dog ate it.
Colder Than Ice Jokes
I told this joke to a mirror. It didn’t laugh.
My friend said this joke was good.
I don’t have friends.What’s worse than a bad joke?
Reading 200 of them.What did my coworker say after I told a joke?
“So… anyway.”I once told this joke to my crush.
Now I’m single.My plant heard this joke.
It died.I told this joke at a funeral.
It got colder.My Alexa groaned at this one.
This joke was tested on crickets.
They left.My mom said, “Don’t tell that one again.”
Jokes That Don’t Make Sense
Why did the banana wear a seatbelt?
Because toast.What’s green, loud, and likes to knit?
Tuesday.Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
I don’t know.What do you call a squirrel with a calculator?
A math potato.Why was the spoon jealous of the stapler?
Because jellybeans.What’s faster than a snail but slower than a cloud?
Pancakes.Why did the frog join NASA?
To be a frogstronaut.I made a joke out of spaghetti.
It fell apart.What’s the opposite of opposite?
Sideways.How many ducks does it take to paint a fence?
Apples.
Self-Deprecating Duds
I tried stand-up comedy once. The stool got more laughs.
My jokes are like my Wi-Fi: weak and unreliable.
I once made a joke so bad, my plants drooped.
I’m not funny, I’m just available.
I bring silence to every conversation.
I told a joke once. They made a documentary about it.
I can clear a room. With one pun.
People say I should be a comedian — in jail.
Even I don’t laugh at my jokes.
My shadow left me after this joke.
Dry As Dust Jokes
I read a joke about salt.
It was sodium fine.Why was the spreadsheet so boring?
It had no function.What’s a skeleton’s favorite drink?
Tap water.I tried to laugh, but my eyebrows didn’t move.
I told this joke to a rock. It rolled away.
What’s beige and exists?
Beige.I laughed once in 2003.
I’m still recovering.Knock, knock.
(No response.)I made this joke on a Monday.
It’s still tired.What’s the punchline?
There isn’t one.
Soggy Wordplay
I made a joke about oranges.
It peeled flat.I wanted to be a pun master.
Now I’m just pun-employed.Lettuce not joke about salads.
I tried to tell a joke about soup.
It stewed too long.I asked my bread to laugh.
It loafed off.Why do trees not tell jokes?
They leave.I named my fish “Pun.”
It drowned in silence.Wanna hear a joke about a vacuum?
Never mind, it sucks.Don’t egg me on.
This joke’s already cracked.This pun is so dry, I need a smoothie.
Jokes That Just End… Like This
I had a joke.
It left.You know what’s funny?
Not this.The punchline is…
Gone.This is a setup.
That’s it.I said something funny once.
This isn’t it.Knock, knock.
(Leaves door closed.)My friend said this would be hilarious.
We don’t talk anymore.The joke starts here
And ends here.I tried.
You read it.This joke has been discontinued due to lack of interest.
Jokes With Zero Impact
What’s faster, a snail or a slug?
Depends on traffic.I put my phone in rice.
Now it’s crunchy.What’s cooler than being cool?
A working air conditioner.Want to hear a fun fact?
Too bad, it’s a boring one.I went to the doctor.
He told me to leave.Did you hear about the big thing?
Neither did I.I opened a window and now it’s open.
I wrote a song about silence.
It’s four minutes long.What’s the best way to waste time?
Read this list.I got a new job!
Telling unfunny jokes.
Measuring How Flat These Fall
What rhymes with orange?
Nothing. That’s the joke.My GPS told me a joke.
I missed my exit.Why did I write this joke?
Because I could.What’s black and white and… never mind.
My brain left the group chat.
I asked AI to make a joke.
It declined.I blinked, and the joke was gone.
I told this at a wedding.
Now I’m banned.If this were a test, I’d fail.
Joke? I hardly know her.
Anti-Climactic Antics
What did I say to the silence?
Hello, old friend.I told a joke to a mirror.
It shattered.Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because you expected it to.I brought a joke to a pun fight.
It surrendered.The Wi-Fi dropped. So did my punchline.
Want a joke?
Nope.I had a great joke.
This isn’t it.Why is the sky blue?
Because it’s not green.I dreamed of a punchline.
Then I woke up.You came for laughs.
You stayed for disappointment.
Slow Burn Duds
I once made a joke that took a week to land.
Knock knock.
…still waiting.A tortoise walked into a bar.
No punchline. He’s still walking.I’ll tell this joke after I nap.
My microwave laughed first.
I mailed this joke. Check back in 5-7 business days.
This joke has buffering issues.
I wrote this in Morse code.
. . . Never mind.The joke aged like milk.
Timing is everything. And I missed it.
Frozen Delivery Jokes
I told this one in Antarctica.
It froze mid-punchline.I practiced this joke in front of ice.
It cracked.Want a chill joke?
This is it.I once laughed so hard…
Nope. Never mind.This joke was cryogenically stored.
It still flopped.I told this to Elsa.
She let it go.Cold joke, warm regrets.
If this joke were soup, it’d be a popsicle.
I laughed at this in 1997.
I was colder then.This punchline has frostbite.
Jokes So Boring They Might Cure Insomnia
Why did I cross the room?
I was walking.What’s beige, round, and exists?
A potato.Want a thrilling tale?
Too bad, here’s this.My joke was interrupted by a nap.
I told this joke to a turtle.
He fell asleep.Dozing yet? You will be.
I printed this joke on a pillow.
Snore if you’ve heard this.
This joke brought to you by decaf.
Nothing happened. That’s the whole joke.
Clean But Utterly Clueless Jokes
Why did the sponge get promoted?
It absorbed the job.What’s a toothbrush’s favorite sport?
Plaque-tical jokes.Why don’t brooms make good comedians?
They always sweep the punchline.Why did the soap start a podcast?
To lather on the laughs.What do towels dream of?
Dry humor.Why don’t sinks go to school?
They’re always drained.What’s a vacuum’s favorite joke?
This one. It sucks.Why do toilets hate jokes?
They get flushed.Why are showers humble?
They keep things clean.This section… scrubbed of comedy.
Romance-Free Rom-Coms
I told a joke on a date.
There was no second one.My crush said I was funny.
She was lying.Love is blind.
So was this joke.I gave her flowers and this joke.
She kept the flowers.I wrote her a poem.
It was just this list.Romance is dead.
So is this punchline.My ex left me for a funnier person.
I watched a rom-com for inspiration.
Still alone.Swipe left on this joke.
My love life = this joke. Flat.
Jokes with Too Much Setup, Zero Payoff
A guy walks into a bar with a duck, a pizza, and a bowling ball…
That’s it.In ancient times, philosophers debated the nature of humor…
They gave up.Picture this: a desert, a camel, and a kazoo.
There’s no ending.I bought 6 hats, 2 baguettes, and a goat—
Never mind.I trained for 3 months to tell this joke.
Worthless.This joke needs context.
You don’t have it.I started this joke in 2020.
It’s still buffering.My teacher said “tell a story.”
I failed.This joke was part of a trilogy.
Part one was better.I hyped this one up.
I shouldn’t have.
Bonus Round: So Bad, They Loop Forever
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. Again.I told this joke before.
And now again.What’s worse than a bad joke?
Repeating it.Ever heard déjà vu?
Ever heard déjà vu?I recycle punchlines.
Like this one.Why did the joke go to therapy?
No one laughed. Still.I tried to make it better.
It didn’t work.The joke tried stand-up.
Now it sits.This joke has been seen before.
Probably in section 1.Endings are hard.
So I didn’t make one.
FAQs
Why would anyone tell unfunny jokes?
To confuse friends, annoy enemies, and test patience. Also, comedy is subjective.
Are these jokes good for kids?
Yes — they’re clean, corny, and confusingly safe.
Can I use these at work?
Yes, but prepare for strange stares and silent suffering.
Are unfunny jokes intentional?
Some are bad on purpose. Some are just… bad. That’s the beauty.
What’s the difference between unfunny and a dad joke?
Dad jokes try to be funny. Unfunny jokes gave up years ago.
Will these jokes get laughs?
More like eye-rolls and sighs. Same effect, really.
Can I use these for social media captions?
Yes — especially if you want to lose followers ironically.
What’s the best way to deliver an unfunny joke?
Deadpan. No smile. Absolute conviction.
Do unfunny jokes have fans?
Yes. We’re called the Anti-Laugh League.
Where can I find more humor like this?
Right here on PunsPlanet.com — where awkward lives forever.
Conclusion
If you’ve made it this far… congratulations. You now have a complete arsenal of unfunny jokes perfect for family dinners, team meetings, or making someone regret asking, “Tell me a joke.” These anti-jokes are low-effort, high-confusion, and great for trolling with charm.
👉 Want more painfully awkward humor and punny nonsense? Visit PunsPlanet.com — where the punchlines are optional but the silence is guaranteed.
