Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even shake your head a little—because we’re diving headfirst into the paper-tossing, headline-hogging world of Trump Puerto Rico jokes! From awkward hurricane relief moments to geography gaffes and Twitter tantrums, this pun-packed collection delivers 295+ witty one-liners, jabs, and satirical zingers that’ll have you howling like a tropical storm.
Presidential Punchlines: Puerto Rico Gets “Trumpled”
Trump tried tossing paper towels, but Puerto Rico needed policies, not party tricks.
“Puerto Rico” – Trump said it twice to show he knows both syllables.
Trump wanted to build a wall… around hurricanes.
He thought San Juan was a guy from Florida.
“Puerto Rico’s an island? Who knew?” – Geography class, anyone?
Trump tried to drain the swamp… by rerouting the hurricane to Mexico.
Said he loves Puerto Ricans—especially the ones who voted for him (so, none).
Trump mistook “piña colada” for “Puerto Rican currency.”
“They have lights now, right?” – Trump, two years post-Hurricane Maria.
If Trump ran FEMA, he’d send golf balls instead of food.
🧻 Paper Towels & Power Outages: A Toss Too Far
Nothing says “emergency aid” like a roll of Bounty.
Trump turned hurricane relief into a carnival game.
“Clean up on aisle FEMA!”
He went to Puerto Rico and left them with paper towels and awkward selfies.
The only thing airborne should’ve been supplies—not Trump’s jump shot.
He brought towels but forgot generators.
The towels absorbed more PR damage than hurricane water.
“Emergency optics” isn’t the same as emergency relief.
Trump’s pitch had more spin than his speeches.
Relief: 0. Rebounds: 1.
🌪️ Hurricane Hubris: Storms & Soundbites
Trump rated the disaster a “10 out of 10”—like it was a Yelp review.
Maria blew harder than a Trump press conference.
“Tremendous wind, tremendous rain, the best weather disaster.”
When nature hits, Trump tweets.
He thought “Category 5” was a new Trump Hotel rating.
Said Puerto Rico messed up his golf weekend.
“We’ve done more for Puerto Rico than anyone. Ever. Maybe in history.”
The only storm Trump respects is a Twitter storm.
His idea of disaster prep? Hair spray and hashtags.
“We gave them help! I threw it personally!”
💸 Fiscal Faux Pas: Counting Coins in the Caribbean
Trump said Puerto Rico cost “too much”—like democracy’s on sale.
He wanted to trade Puerto Rico for Greenland.
“How many pesos in a federal bailout?”
Puerto Rico: American in taxes, foreign in empathy.
“They owe us money” – Trump, confusing hurricanes with mortgages.
He saw debt and asked, “Can we file Chapter Puerto Rico?”
Treats aid like a subscription service—“Cancel anytime.”
“We paid enough” is not disaster math.
“They’re lucky they have electricity again!” – Trump in 2020.
FEMA or Venmo? Pick one, Mr. President.
🌴 Island Ignorance: Geography? Never Heard of Her
Trump asked if Puerto Rico was near Hawaii.
“Is Puerto Rico in the Caribbean or at the UN?”
Geography Bee? More like Geography Bzzzt.
Thought PR was short for “Public Relations.”
Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory—Trump still asked for a passport.
“They have their own president, right?”
He called the island “far, far away”—like Star Wars.
Thought “island” meant it floats.
Asked if they have “real” Americans there.
Mispronounced “San Juan” as “San Ju-another-disaster.”
🧠 Political Memory Loss: Convenient Amnesia
Trump forgot about Hurricane Maria faster than a bad tweet.
Claimed he “did more than anyone”—then ghosted.
“Who’s the governor again?”
Acted shocked Puerto Rico still needed help… months later.
Took credit for rebuilding a place he barely visited.
“We fixed it! Now move on!”
He’s great at forgetting things—like responsibility.
Puerto Rico: the political hot potato of 2018.
Blink and he’ll forget where it is.
Hurricane? Never heard of her.
🎤 Mic Drops & Misquotes: Say What?
“I know Puerto Rico very well”—Google Maps says otherwise.
Claimed “many Puerto Ricans voted for me” – spoiler: they can’t vote in federal elections.
Said Puerto Rico had “strong bones.”
“We’re doing a great job, everyone says so!”
He called their suffering “not a real catastrophe.”
When in doubt, say “tremendous.”
“You’re welcome!” – after tossing towels.
Misquoted facts more than a bad Wikipedia edit.
Said PR’s economy was “booming”—that was the hurricane.
“Ask anyone. I fixed Puerto Rico. Next question.”
🧂 Salty Stats & Sass
Trump blamed Puerto Rico for being hit by a hurricane.
Said “they didn’t help themselves enough.”
Compared their death toll to “real disasters.”
“It could’ve been worse” is not leadership.
“We gave them money” doesn’t equal compassion.
Took PR’s pain and made it PR for himself.
Claimed others exaggerated the damage—because facts hurt feelings.
PR deserved facts, not filtered bragging.
He’s salty because reality didn’t vote red.
The only thing inflated more than the damage—was his ego.
🎯 Aimless Apologies: Sorry, Not Sorry
“If anyone was hurt, I’m sorry… sort of.”
Apologies come slow, and often sideways.
He apologized to “the people” — but forgot Puerto Ricans are people.
Said he’d “go again”—Puerto Rico politely declined.
Backpedaled harder than a stationary bike.
“Things happen” is not an apology.
Trump-splaining disasters 101.
“We responded quickly”—Twitter doesn’t count.
His sorry is always silent.
PR still waiting for that full apology card.
🛠️ Infrastructure Insults
Promised power grids—delivered power naps.
Claimed success before lights came back.
Thought “infrastructure week” was for cable TV.
Puerto Rico got poles, not promises.
“Electricity? We fixed that” – while outages rolled on.
Confused rebuild with ribbon-cutting.
Helped like a guy handing duct tape to a sinking ship.
Bragged more than he built.
Recovery plan? Crossed fingers.
He powered the PR headlines—just not the grid.
🎨 Media Meltdowns & Soundbite Storms
Called coverage “fake news,” but the footage rolled.
Criticized reporters more than he helped locals.
“They make me look bad”—no edit needed.
Wore a windbreaker like it was battle armor.
PR needed help, got a photo op.
Had better lighting than most homes on the island.
Blamed the press for showing devastation.
Told them “great job” while chaos loomed.
Newsflash: optics aren’t oxygen.
When the camera’s on, empathy’s off.
🧃 Juiced-Up Jokes: Piña Colada Politics
Trump thought aid meant adding pineapples.
Confused policy with punchlines.
“Can we just turn Puerto Rico into a resort?”
Claimed “vacation numbers are up!”
Wished PR luck from Mar-a-Lago.
Compared damage to “a mild hangover.”
Piña coladas: 10/10. Preparedness: 2/10.
He saw beach photos and thought “they’re fine.”
Relaxed while PR recovered.
Preferred sipping to saving.
🧳 Statehood Shenanigans
“Should we sell it or state it?”
Confused statehood with vacation packages.
Said 52 states, just to include Puerto Rico and “maybe Canada.”
PR asked for status, got sass.
Promised discussions, delivered distractions.
Statehood? Only if they vote red.
“They don’t speak perfect English”—ironic, huh?
Avoided the topic like a tax return.
PR deserves rights, not red tape.
“We’ll see” – the political shrug emoji.
🪙 Dolla Dolla Deflects
Claimed PR wasted money while bailing out billionaires.
“They’re too dependent”—on the U.S., you mean?
Forgot PR pays taxes.
Demanded gratitude like it was rent.
“We saved them money by doing less.”
Compared costs to golf trips.
PR’s budget doesn’t fit in Mar-a-Lago’s wallet.
Threw dollars, not direction.
Public funding, private ego.
Counting coins isn’t caring.
🍂 Fall from Favor: The Aftermath
Once the news faded, so did the effort.
PR’s recovery lasted longer than Trump’s attention span.
“We did everything we could”—then did nothing.
PR became a footnote.
Promises turned into press clips.
He built buzz, not bridges.
After PR, came silence.
Compassion: limited-time offer.
PR rebuilt themselves.
America watched, Trump waved.
🗳️ Voting Without Voices
Puerto Ricans can’t vote in presidential elections—but he still ignored them.
Said they were “taken care of”—politically ghosted.
Promised representation, delivered red tape.
They got disaster, not democracy.
“Your voice matters” – unless you live on an island.
PR deserves ballots, not bureaucracy.
He visited—then vanished.
“We’re one nation” – except on Election Day.
No vote, no veto—no fair.
PR watched the ballots from the sidelines.
🎁 “Best Gifts Ever”… Not Really
Trump brought the gift of gaslighting.
Thought towels and tweets were enough.
Bragged about sending water—forgot about logistics.
“We sent them stuff!” – like broken promises.
PR needed hope. Got hashtags.
His gift? Silence when it mattered.
Claimed gratitude, ignored grief.
Sent trucks, not teamwork.
Help that helped his image more than the island.
Disaster aid with a selfie side dish.
🛑 Cancel Culture? Try Crisis Culture
Trump canceled empathy for Puerto Rico.
Storms don’t trend forever—neither did support.
PR’s needs were real—his response, not so much.
Hurricane survivors aren’t Twitter clout.
Response time: slow. Response tone: smug.
Aid’s not optional.
Compassion isn’t controversial.
No cancel button on natural disasters.
He downplayed, they endured.
PR rose. Trump scrolled.
FAQs
What makes a Trump Puerto Rico joke funny?
Clever satire, political irony, and real-life absurdity combine for punchline gold.
Can these jokes be used on social media?
Absolutely—just keep it respectful, smart, and funny.
Are Puerto Rico jokes offensive?
Not if they punch up. These jokes critique leadership, not the people of Puerto Rico.
Why is the paper towel toss a meme?
It symbolized a tone-deaf response during a crisis. That moment went viral for a reason.
Was Puerto Rico treated unfairly?
Many believe the federal response was slow and inadequate—hence the satire.
Can I use these jokes in a stand-up set?
Yes! Just add your own spin and consider your audience.
Is this article pro- or anti-Trump?
It’s pro-humor, pro-awareness, and definitely anti-apathy.
Do these jokes help bring awareness?
Yes! Humor can shine light on serious issues while keeping audiences engaged.
Why do Puerto Ricans matter in U.S. politics?
They’re U.S. citizens. Their treatment reflects American values—or lack thereof.
Where can I find more political humor?
Swing by PunsPlanet.com—your headquarters for punny perspectives!
Conclusion
Laughter is a powerful tool, and these jokes shine a satirical spotlight on the absurdities Puerto Rico faced post-Maria. Through wordplay and wit, we’ve unpacked a whirlwind of paper towels, awkward optics, and presidential punchlines. Whether you’re here for the chuckles or the commentary, remember: humor heals, especially when paired with heart.
Share the giggles, drop your favorite joke in the comments, and sail over to PunsPlanet.com for more pun-filled treasures!
