If laughter is the best medicine, then nurses are the ultimate dose! From soothing our wounds to saving our days, nurses are superheroes in scrubs — and just like every hero, they deserve a little laughter too. This list of 205+ nurse jokes and puns delivers a hearty injection of humor straight to your funny bone.
Whether you’re a nurse looking for a little levity between shifts, or just love some clever wordplay with a medical twist, we’ve got a pun-demic of hilarious material that’s scrubbin’ funny! So fluff up your pillows, grab your clipboard, and let’s start charting some chuckles!
Scrub-a-Dub-Laughs
Nurses don’t sweat — they glisten… with sanitizer.
I scrubbed in… just to clean up the punchline.
Nurses wear scrubs because laughter is messy work.
I don’t always tell jokes in surgery, but when I do, they’re in stitches.
Nurse: “I’m scrubbing up my act!”
Scrubs are just pajamas with more responsibilities.
I wear scrubs because capes are frowned upon.
I scrub in like a comedian: all about the timing.
My scrubs are pressed, but my jokes are relaxed.
Don’t mess with me—I scrub hard and pun harder.
IV League Laughs
I majored in humor at the IV League.
My puns are drip-certified.
Nurses don’t spill tea—they monitor drips.
I’m on an IV of espresso and sarcasm.
The IV pole told a joke—it had me hooked!
My humor’s strong—like a full bag of fluids.
Keep calm and insert IV.
IV you later with more puns!
Drip? I’ve got style and saline.
This joke has good flow.
Vitals and Giggles
My humor’s 120/80 — perfectly balanced.
This joke is pulse-raising!
Nurses check your vitals and your vibe.
That joke gave me heart palpitations!
I monitor vitals and make you laugh until your BPM spikes.
Patient: “You took my breath away.”
Nurse: “Time to check your oxygen levels!”Humor is my favorite circulatory stimulant.
I keep it 98.6 degrees of funny.
I see your humor is stable—carry on!
That pun gave me respiratory euphoria.
Nurse Practitioner of Puns
Practicing jokes daily keeps the dull away.
I’m a licensed pun-practitioner.
Don’t worry, I’m board-certified in bad jokes.
Ask me anything—I diagnose laughter.
Laughter is covered by your humor insurance.
Nurse practitioners: writing prescriptions and punchlines.
My practice includes prescribing punchlines.
You’ll laugh so hard, you’ll need a follow-up.
Nurse by day, pun dealer by night.
I take walk-ins… and laugh-ins.
Nurse Shift Shenanigans
Day shift, night shift—always in pun mode.
Shift happens. So do nurse jokes.
I don’t work overtime, I work over-funny.
My humor works around the clock-in.
Running on coffee and chaos (and jokes).
The shift was long, but the jokes were longer.
Nurses don’t have time for sleep, only wit recovery.
I moonlight as a pun-machine.
After 12 hours, my puns become chart toppers.
Night shift? More like fight-giggle-repeat.
Syringe of Sarcasm
Warning: sarcasm levels approaching toxic.
My syringe is full of sass and saline.
I inject humor with precision.
Administering one dose of sarcasm… daily.
Side effects include eye-rolls and snorts.
I’m immune to bad jokes—I created them.
This nurse has a sharp wit—like a 22-gauge.
My jokes go deep tissue.
Just a little prick… of humor.
Sarcasm: now available in pre-filled syringes.
Code Blue Chuckles
Code blue! We’ve got a pun flatlining!
Reviving this joke with 200J of fun.
Clear… for takeoff into laughter.
That joke needed emotional defibrillation.
Code blue? More like code boo-hoo from laughing!
This punchline needs CPR — Comedic Pun Revival.
Paging Dr. Funnybone to ER!
Flatline of humor? Not on my watch.
I shocked the room—with my delivery.
You’re having a pun attack! Stay calm!
Patient-ly Funny
Patient: “Is this gonna hurt?”
Nurse: “Only your dignity.”My bedside manner includes stand-up sets.
Patients love my bedside banter.
I give meds and gigglegrams.
Diagnosis: terminal punning.
“You’re gonna feel a little pinch… of humor.”
Laughter is non-invasive therapy.
My patients think I’m comedi-cool.
I treat people with care… and punchlines.
Healing starts with humor.
Laughter in the Break Room
The break room is where jokes resuscitate.
Powered by coffee and chaos.
I don’t break down—I break into laughter.
Espresso yourself, nurse!
Our coffee is strong, but our humor is stronger.
Break time? More like pun time.
I’m a latte fun at work.
The only thing running is my mouth (with jokes).
We run on caffeine and comedy.
Break glass for emergency puns.
Nurse Burnout Busters
Humor is my burnout vaccine.
A little laugh goes a long shift.
Stressed spelled backward is desserts — and nurse jokes!
Emotional exhaustion? Time for a pun infusion.
Burnout can’t catch me — I’m too busy laughing.
This joke just resuscitated my soul.
No one heals the healers like humor.
Nurse: “I’m fine.”
Also nurse: cries in charting.My pun game is the only thing not charted.
Gallows humor? More like giggle gurney.
Clipboard Comedy
My clipboard holds secrets—and jokes.
Chart topper? That’s my punchline.
I take notes and name puns.
Flip the clipboard—it’s joke o’clock.
All my punchlines are HIPAA-compliant.
Documentation includes laughs per shift.
Charting laughter for future reference.
Can’t spell “clinical” without “LOL.”
I prescribe one pun per paragraph.
My clipboards click with comedy.
Med-Surg Mayhem
It’s a ward of wonders in here.
The med-surg shuffle: steps and stand-up.
Nurses walk miles… and pun every step.
Bed alarms? More like gag alarms.
I code switch from meds to mirth.
My rounds include puns and pills.
IV? More like I-Very funny!
I’ve seen it all—and laughed at most of it.
Welcome to med-surg madness!
Laughter: the best pain reliever.
Puns You Can Chart
Nurse notes: patient stable… but pun-stable.
Charting humor under “interventions.”
Progress: 90% healing, 10% giggling.
Patient mood improved after pun injection.
Side note: I slay with sarcasm.
Next shift should monitor for more puns.
Charting jokes—because laughter is billable.
Code: LOL
Assessing the patient’s pun tolerance.
Must document my wit symptoms.
Pediatrics with Punchlines
Little patients, big laughs!
I work with toddlers and tickles.
Pediatric nurse: aka giggle dealer.
Boo-boos and boo-hoo-hahas.
Stickers and silly jokes—my care plan.
My humor is child-approved.
Got a lollipop AND a laugh.
Toddler tantrums don’t scare me—I have jokes.
Pediatric puns = best medicine.
Healing kids one gigglegram at a time.
Wheely Funny (Wheelchair Puns)
This pun is on a roll!
Wheel see what happens.
Pushin’ patients and punchlines.
I wheelie love nurse humor.
Can’t stop this rolling laughter.
Spin class? More like spin unit.
Wheelchair jokes? Sit down for this one.
I bring the humor right to your seat.
Rollin’ with the puns.
That joke really wheeled in the laughs.
Gurney Giggles
Gurney, but make it funny.
Laugh your stretcher off.
This humor’s going places—on wheels!
Fasten your gurney belts—it’s joke time!
Rolling puns and rolling patients.
I deliver laughs at emergency speed.
The patient’s fine—just pun-der observation.
You’ll be wheeled away… from laughter!
Bedside comedy on wheels.
My gurney game is strong.
Sterile but Still Funny
Sterile field, not sterile jokes.
I’m clean but filthy with puns.
Gowned up and clowned up.
Sterile drapes can’t cover raw comedy.
This humor’s been autoclaved!
Masked but not muted.
You can’t sanitize this sass.
Surgery jokes? Cut it out!
Even my gloves are laughing.
We scrub in… for silliness.
Nurse-Off-Duty Puns
Off-duty, but always on pun.
Don’t make me laugh—I’m relaxing!
Retired my stethoscope, not my sass.
Even my weekends have chartable laughs.
No shift, no filter.
I’m just here for the giggles.
This pun is unpaid overtime.
Brunch and bad jokes, anyone?
You can’t call me, but you can pun me.
I’ve got resting pun face.
Heart Monitor Humor
You make my heart rate irregular—with laughs.
Flatline? Must be missing my jokes.
My jokes send hearts into overdrive.
That punchline triggered the alarm!
Humor—better than dopamine.
Monitoring for excessive giggles.
My rhythm? 60 puns per minute.
That joke got shockingly funny.
Puns that skip a beat.
Resuscitating humor daily.
End-of-Shift Laugh Therapy
I survived the shift — time for laughter therapy.
Punch-out? More like punchline out.
Humor heals, especially after 12 hours.
Every tired nurse deserves a nap and a pun.
The best end-of-shift care? Laughter.
I’m clocking out with a chuckle.
Healing others, laughing harder.
I’ve had it up to here—with laughter.
My shift’s done, but my humor isn’t.
Night-night, don’t let the puns bite!
FAQs
1. What are some good nurse puns for Instagram captions?
Try “Scrubbin’ up real nice” or “Nurse vibes only!”
2. Can I use these puns in nurse appreciation cards?
Absolutely! They’re great for cards, gifts, or nurse week.
3. Are these jokes safe for work?
Yes — totally nurse-approved and patient-friendly.
4. What’s a funny pun for a nurse’s birthday?
“Have a scrub-tacular birthday!”
5. Do you have nurse jokes for kids?
Try: “Why did the nurse bring a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood!”
6. Any jokes nurses can tell patients?
“How do nurses stay calm? They take deep puns!”
7. Can I print this for a nurse bulletin board?
Of course! Just credit PunsPlanet.com if you’re feeling generous.
8. What’s a short nurse pickup line pun?
“Are you an IV drip? Because I’m hooked on you.”
9. Any group nurse jokes for team meetings?
Try “We’re the IV League — intelligent, vital, and hilarious!”
10. Can I submit my own nurse pun?
Yes! Drop your best line in the comments on PunsPlanet.com — we might feature you!
Conclusion
Being a nurse isn’t just about medicine — it’s about compassion, care, and often, comedy. Humor is one of the best tools in a nurse’s kit, helping patients heal and helping coworkers cope. Whether you laughed a little or a lot, we hope this collection brought a smile to your face (and maybe even made you snort in public). 🩺
If you enjoyed these puns, don’t keep the laughs to yourself!
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