Let’s be real — some jokes are just so dumb, so ridiculous, so totally absurd… that they’re hilarious. This is that zone. We’re talking jokes that make no sense. Puns that hurt your soul. One-liners that have no business being this funny.
These 250+ great stupid jokes are here to make you snort-laugh, eye-roll, and maybe question your sanity — in the best way. So buckle up your whoopee cushion, lower your expectations, and get ready to giggle.
Let the brain-melting begin.
Great Stupid Jokes in English 🤪😂
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
I told my suitcase there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I’m on a whiskey diet — I’ve lost three days already.
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Terrible Jokes That Are Funny 😆
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
I’d tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Terrible Jokes That Are Funny One-Liners 😂
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
I told my dog to play dead — he’s still practicing.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory — all I did was take a day off!
I asked my French friend if he likes to play video games — he said, “Wii.”
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
I’m friends with all electricians — we have good current connections.
Great Stupid Jokes for Adults 😎
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes — she hugged me.
My boss is like a diaper — always on my case and full of crap.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can say I walk five miles every day.
I asked my phone for a joke — it called my bank balance.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
I used to be indecisive — now I’m not so sure.
Don’t trust people who do acupuncture — they’re back stabbers.
I went to buy camouflage pants — but couldn’t find any.
Laugh Seriously Funny Jokes 😂🤣
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward.
My friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at him.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I bought shoes from a drug dealer — I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
I broke my finger last week… on the other hand, I’m okay.
I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Why did the man put sugar under his pillow? He wanted sweet dreams.
Terrible Jokes That Are Funny for Adults 🤭
My girlfriend said I should do more lunges. That would be a big step forward.
My wife said I should do squats — I told her I prefer diddly.
I told my boss three companies were after me, and I need a raise. Turns out, two were electric, one was water.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — can’t put it down, even in bed.
Why did the man run around his bed? He was trying to catch up on sleep.
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s been with — she said yes, the others were nines and tens.
I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyeliner too high. She looked surprised.
I burned 1,200 calories yesterday — forgot the pizza in the oven.
My wife told me I should stop acting like a flamingo — I had to put my foot down.
I asked her if I was the man of her dreams — she said she doesn’t remember nightmares.
Top 5 Best Jokes Ever 🏆😂
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
10 Funniest Jokes for Adults 🤣🔥
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s been with — she said yes, the rest were better.
My girlfriend said I never listen… or something like that.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Marriage is like a workshop — husband works, wife shops.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
I told my girlfriend she should treat me like a god — she started ignoring me.
I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner — she said “nothing.” Now she’s mad I didn’t cook.
My wallet is like an onion — opening it makes me cry.
My phone battery lasts longer than most relationships.
I’m not lazy — I’m just on energy-saving mode.
🧀 Grate Cheese Jokes
I was going to tell a cheese joke, but it was too mature.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? Hallou-mi.
I camembert how bad this joke is.
Cheddar late than never.
I’m nacho average joker.
Swiss cheese: the only thing with more holes than my logic.
This brie-longs in the trash.
Feeling bleu? Eat cheese.
Feta up with bad jokes yet?
Cheesy jokes are grate.
🧠 Brain Not Found
I opened my brain. It said “404 error.”
My thoughts are on vacation.
I tried thinking… 1 star, wouldn’t recommend.
I downloaded wisdom but it was corrupted.
My brain is buffering.
I can’t brain today. I haz the dumb.
My head is just vibes.
Thoughts? Never heard of her.
Big brain? More like bean brain.
If common sense were Wi-Fi, I’d be offline.
🥒 Pickle Me Stupid
I’m kind of a big dill.
You’re in a real pickle now!
I relish bad puns.
That joke left me brined and confused.
I’m jarred by how dumb this is.
Kosher? Nope. Just chaotic.
Dill with it.
This is un-peel-ievably bad.
I tried to ketchup… got pickled instead.
I mustard up the courage to tell that joke.
🧻 Toilet Humor Territory
I’m on a roll… get it? Toilet paper?
My jokes belong in the flush files.
I sat down and thought of this. Literally.
Potty mouth, but in a pun way.
Number two never smelled so funny.
This humor stinks… I love it.
Don’t wipe away my talent.
I cracked this on the throne.
My jokes are bathroom certified.
So dumb it needs air freshener.
🐔 Why Did the Chicken…?
Why did the chicken cross the road? For attention.
Chicken saw me coming and left.
Poultry in motion.
Egg-cellent logic doesn’t apply here.
I told this joke to a chicken. It walked away.
Coop dreams crushed.
Bok bok? More like blah blah.
This joke laid an egg.
Hen-d me my brain back.
Beaks me why it’s funny.
🥚 Eggstra Dumb
I cracked this joke. Now it’s scrambled.
Sunny-side up humor, dark-side brain.
Omelette you finish, but this joke is eggstra.
I can’t beat this yolk.
Hard-boiled nonsense.
Shell-shocked by how dumb that was.
Eggcuse me?
Laid-back humor.
Deviled jokes, angelic laughter.
Hatch me outside, how ’bout dat?
🐟 Fishy Business
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
Cod you not?
Something smells fishy… it’s this joke.
I’m hooked on dumb humor.
These puns are off the scale.
That’s reel dumb.
Fin-ish him!
Sole searching with bad jokes.
Can’t tuna fish, but I can ruin a pun.
Sea-riously stop me.
🍞 Bread Puns That Loaf Around
Don’t be sourdough, laugh a little.
Rye so serious?
Crumb to your senses!
Loaf it or leave it.
Toasting my bad humor.
My brain’s on whole wheat mode.
I’m baguetting worse at this.
Breadwinner of dumb jokes.
Gluten tag!
This pun is half-baked.
🤯 So Stupid It Hurts
I walked into a wall. Then said “excuse me.”
My shadow left out of shame.
I tripped over wireless.
I yelled “Marco!” in a grocery store.
My thoughts are on vacation with no return ticket.
I asked Siri where my brain is. She hung up.
I Googled “how to be smart” and it redirected me here.
This joke failed kindergarten.
IQ: It Quit.
I microwave ice cubes for fun.
🐌 Slow & Silly
I raced a snail and lost.
Slug life chose me.
This joke moves at the speed of nope.
Snail me later.
It’s a slow burn… or just a burn.
Escar-no-go.
Slitherin’ into your brain with bad humor.
I shell out jokes like this daily.
This is a slippery slope.
Fast jokes? Nah, I like to crawl.
🧃 Juice Not Worth the Squeeze
I drank orange juice, now I feel pulp fiction.
This joke has no concentrate.
Grape expectations, dumb results.
I’m juiced up on stupidity.
Pulp-leased to meet you.
I apple-ogize for nothing.
That joke was bananas… in a bad way.
Orange you glad this pun’s over?
Berry confused, truly.
Squeezed this joke out like old fruit.
🤓 Nerdy But No Logic
I tried to code a sandwich. Got a byte.
404: Common sense not found.
My science fair project was just glue.
I divided by zero. Universe crashed.
Algebra told me “X” left me.
Gaming level: potato.
I hacked time to nap longer.
IQ test said “try again later.”
Calculated the dumb. It’s me.
Reboot me emotionally, please.
👖 Pants-on-the-Head Dumb
I wore socks on my hands.
Jeans? I call them leg prisons.
My pants ghosted me.
Zipped up my self-esteem.
These pants have no sense of humor.
Cuffed at my own nonsense.
My pants are smarter than me.
I’m wearing shorts… in a blizzard.
Got kicked out of fashion school for this.
Waist of time.
🧊 Cool but Clueless
Ice cold take: water is spicy.
My brain’s on chill — permanently.
Froze my ideas. Now they’re dumb popsicles.
I licked a glacier for wisdom. Got brain freeze.
I’m iced out of smart conversations.
Cool story, zero IQ.
I slipped on my own ego.
Cold-hearted, warm-blooded fool.
That pun belongs in the freezer.
Chill jokes only. No heat allowed.
🛏️ Sleepy-Time Stupidity
I dreamt I was smart. Woke up disappointed.
My pillow gives better advice than me.
I nap instead of think.
Sleep schedule: chaos o’clock.
Counting sheep made me hungry.
I sleep like a baby… confused and crying.
Dreams are smarter than my waking self.
I hit snooze on life.
My brain sleeps even when I’m awake.
Nap-tastrophe in progress.
🦑 Squidward-Level Sass
I identify as a mood: Squidward.
My face is 80% eyeroll.
I answered a question with a sigh.
Sarcasm is my cardio.
That joke made my soul leak ink.
I’m the human version of “meh.”
I’m allergic to enthusiasm.
Mood: underwater and over it.
My personality smells like clarinet.
Can’t hear you over my side-eye.
🧂 Salty & Senseless
I’m salty, but in a cute way.
My tears seasoned this joke.
Shaker? I barely know her.
Take it with a grain of “ugh.”
Sodium-powered puns.
That joke raised my blood pressure.
I’m flavorless but dramatic.
Table salt has more purpose.
Sass: 100%, Logic: 0%.
This pun is a salt-uation.
🍌 Slippery Banana Logic
I slipped on a joke and fell into shame.
I tried to peel a kiwi.
Banana for scale: dumbness off the charts.
I bruised my brain with that one.
Banana phone has no service.
Go bananas? I never stopped.
A-peel-ing jokes? Nope.
I bunch my puns together like this.
Ripe with regret.
This joke split before it finished.
🚗 Dumb on the Go
I drove a car into a pun.
My GPS gave up.
I put the “uhhh” in Uber.
Parked in reverse psychology.
I braked for squirrels… that weren’t there.
Fueling up on chaos.
Carpooling with my thoughts.
Steering into stupidity.
Honk if you hate this.
My driving test said “LOL no.”
🥴 Bonus Round: Just Why?
I put cereal in my sock.
I waved back at a mannequin.
I asked Alexa to do my taxes.
I danced to a microwave beep.
I replied “you too” to “happy birthday.”
I tried to pet a hologram.
I barked at a squirrel.
I walked into a glass door. Twice.
I said “ouch” before I tripped.
I named my plant “Steve Jobs.”
FAQs
What makes a joke “stupid” but funny?
It makes no logical sense… but it triggers pure joy. It’s chaos + timing.
Can I tell these at school or work?
Absolutely! They’re 100% safe and 80% questionable — perfect mix.
Are dumb jokes actually smart in disguise?
Sometimes. But mostly they just sound like a goldfish wrote them.
What’s the best way to deliver a dumb joke?
Deadpan, loud, or with a chicken nugget in your hand.
Why do people laugh at silly stuff?
Because life’s hard and stupid jokes are soft brain candy.
Are these puns good for kids?
Yes! They’re silly, clean, and giggle-worthy at all ages.
What if someone groans at my joke?
That means you’re doing it right. Groans = gold.
Can I use these on social media?
Please do! And tag @PunsPlanet so we can giggle with you.
How do I make my own dumb puns?
Take a normal thought, add a pun, and subtract all logic.
Where can I find more pun articles like this?
Easy! Head to PunsPlanet.com and dive into pun-filled themes like food, animals, holidays, music, and more.
Conclusion
You made it. 250+ dumb jokes later, you are now officially less smart but way happier. Great-stupid-jokes are an art form — chaotic, cringe-tastic, and absolutely perfect for passing time with the mental energy of a potato chip.
Whether you snorted, groaned, or questioned your entire existence, thanks for laughing your way to the bottom of the dumbest pit of punny glory.
👉 Now share this with your funniest friend, drop your worst joke in the comments, and swing by PunsPlanet.com for more brain-cell-burning humor.
