We’ve all met a Bill—whether it’s the kind that shows up after dinner or someone named William cracking wise. This joke collection is all about bills in every form! From dollar jokes to punny plays on names like Bill Nye, Bill Gates, and even Buffalo Bill, we’ve rounded up 200+ puns and jokes that are guaranteed to make you chuckle, chortle, or groan with delight. Ready to foot the pun tab? Let’s go!
💵 Bill Me Up, Scotty!
I tried to pay the electric bill with a smile—it wasn’t current enough.
My bills are like boomerangs—they keep coming back.
The water bill made me cry. I guess I was overflowing with emotions.
My phone bill is ghosting me—it always gives me silent treatment.
Bills and I are on a first-name basis: Due.
Why did the bill go to therapy? It had too many charges.
My internet bill just increased. Now it’s wifi-nancially stressful.
I told my rent bill to split—it said, “Not a chance-lord.”
I tried to throw away my bills, but they returned to sender.
The dentist billed me—guess I have a cavity in my wallet now.
💸 Dollar Bills Y’all
I only trust my bills—they always make cents.
George Washington’s favorite band? The Bill-boards.
Why did the dollar bill break up? It couldn’t handle change.
My wallet’s not empty—it’s just socially distant from money.
That dollar bill was so dramatic—always acting two-faced.
Abraham Lincoln’s jokes are a penny for your thoughts.
Why don’t dollar bills get lost? They always follow the cash flow.
That bill joined a gym—it wanted to get ripped.
I saw a flying dollar bill—must’ve been air cash.
My paycheck and I had a short relationship—it was gone in a flash.
📬 Bills in the Mail? More Like Fail!
My mailbox is just a fancy bill trap.
I opened a letter labeled “URGENT”—it was a past due friend.
Mailmen love delivering bills—they’re envelope pushers.
Bills come faster than streaming ads.
I got a letter from my loan—it said “we need to talk.”
Nothing says “good morning” like a hefty utility bill.
The water bill just waved at me—rude but accurate.
I tried to unsubscribe from bills—they doubled instead.
The only thing I receive consistently? Disappointment and debt.
My mailbox needs therapy—it’s full of emotional charges.
👔 Meet Bill: The Man, The Myth, The Pun
Bill always pays attention—but never pays his debts.
William prefers to go by Bill—it cuts costs.
Bill joined a band. He’s good at collecting notes.
Don’t mess with Bill—he’s well-rounded… like a coin.
Bill’s jokes? All currency-based.
If Bill was a superhero, he’d be Captain Credit.
I asked Bill for change. He said, “I only do big bills.”
Bill never splits the check. He’s emotionally charged.
Bill started a podcast—charged per episode.
Bill got ghosted by Venmo. Guess he’s debt inside.
🧾 Electric Jokes That’ll Shock You
My electric bill lights up the room… with panic.
I asked my outlet for help—it refused to plug in.
My fridge is cool, but my bill is chilling.
Electricity is like humor—it’s all about timing.
I read my power bill by candlelight. Oh, the irony.
My circuits are fried—just like my budget.
The electric company sends love notes monthly—so touching.
I tried to unplug, but the bill clung on.
That power bill had me grounded.
I’m shocked every time I open that envelope—literally.
💳 Credit Where Credit Is Due
I have trust issues—thanks, credit report.
My credit score ghosted me—it’s invisible.
I told my bank card a joke—it declined.
I wanted to invest, but my credit said “LOL.”
My wallet and I are in a toxic relationship.
Credit karma? More like credit drama.
I whispered my PIN like a financial love poem.
My credit score needs a hug and a half.
I asked for a loan—they gave me a reality check.
Swipe right… my card’s used to rejection.
💳 Bill Gates of Humor
If Bill Gates made puns, they’d be Windows-certified.
Why did Microsoft Office make a joke? It wanted to Excel.
Bill Gates tried comedy—his delivery crashed.
I told a joke to my PC—it blue-screened.
Gates doesn’t use doors—he updates his way out.
Bill Gates invests in jokes—he likes returns.
Why don’t computers laugh? They byte their tongues.
Ctrl + Alt + Laugh: The Gates method.
I made a joke about Clippy—it popped up uninvited.
Bill Gates’ house has giggle-bytes.
🏦 Bank On These
I banked on laughter—it gave me compound giggles.
My bank account and I are emotionally overdrawn.
I tried to withdraw, but my card laughed at me.
ATMs give free advice: “You broke.”
I opened a savings account—for puns only.
My bank said I have a great personality. Still no loan.
Why did the check bounce? It had too much energy.
My piggy bank squeals every time I spend.
The banker told me a joke—it had great interest.
I invested in humor—no returns yet.
🔌 Utility Puns with Unlimited Charges
My gas bill is on fire—literally.
I told my water heater a joke—it steamed with laughter.
My utilities are in a group chat—plotting my downfall.
Gas prices are fueling my anxiety.
The thermostat’s new hobby? Financial sabotage.
My pipes leak joy every time I pay.
I tried to budget utilities—it backfired.
I asked Alexa to turn off the lights—she said, “Pay first.”
Even my shower has expensive taste.
That utility bill deserves an Oscar—for drama.
📉 Paying with Punchlines
My wallet went on a diet—zero balance.
I used humor to pay bills—they said “Declined.”
The only interest I get is from sarcasm.
I’m financially bilingual—fluent in broke and funny.
My bills should start a podcast—they talk too much.
Paying rent is my monthly horror story.
Even Monopoly money laughs at me.
I budget for snacks, not adulting.
Why save money when you can save memes?
I asked my bills to go easy—they said, “Who dis?”
🧾 The Check, Please! Jokes About Restaurant Bills
I asked the waiter to split the bill—now I owe him emotionally too.
The bill was so high, I thought I bought the restaurant.
Why did the bill go to therapy? It had too much on its plate.
I tried to dodge the bill—now I’m banned from five restaurants.
That moment when you realize the “complimentary bread” wasn’t that complimentary.
I asked the server if the bill was a joke—she said, “Only if you can’t pay it.”
I stared at the bill so long, it started billing me rent.
My friend said “Let’s go Dutch,” so I brought wooden shoes.
I left my appetite at home but still paid full price.
My wallet screamed when it saw the total.
💵 Dollar Dollar Pun Y’all
I tried to make a dollar pun, but I didn’t have any cents.
Why don’t dollars ever break up? Because they make perfect cents.
A dollar walked into a bar—bartender said, “Change is coming.”
I told my wallet a joke. It was empty inside too.
My money’s on a diet—it’s losing weight fast.
Don’t trust the dollar—it always leaves you for change.
That dollar joke was priceless.
I folded a dollar in half. Now it’s my two cents.
This joke is mint.
I tried saving money, but it kept running away.
👨🔬 Bill Nye the Pun Guy
Bill Nye walked into a pun lab—results were pun-omenal.
Science rules—so does pun chemistry.
I asked Bill Nye for a joke. He said, “It’s all relative.”
Bill Nye loves puns—they’re scientifically proven to spark joy.
Gravity is pun-stoppable—it pulls everyone in.
Bill Nye’s favorite element? Punassium.
Evolution is just survival of the punnest.
“This hypothesis is hilarious,” said Bill.
Physics is pun with force.
Even molecules laugh at Bill Nye jokes.
💻 Billing It Like Gates
Bill Gates doesn’t pay for jokes—he invests in them.
I tried to code a joke—Bill Gates said it crashed.
Windows isn’t the only thing crashing after this pun.
Why did Bill Gates break up with Wi-Fi? Too many dropped connections.
My net worth is a punchline—just ask Bill.
Bill Gates doesn’t make jokes, he programs them.
Microsoft? More like Micro-puns.
Excel at your jokes like Bill Gates excels at spreadsheets.
CTRL + ALT + Pun!
Even Clippy couldn’t suggest a better punchline.
🐃 Buffalo Bill-y Bad Jokes
Buffalo Bill started a pun club—it’s a bit wild.
That cowboy joke? Straight from the Wild Pun West.
Buffalo Bill says yee-haw to yuck-yuks.
I told Buffalo Bill a joke—he rode away in silence.
That pun had more tumbleweeds than laughs.
Buffalo Bill lassoed my punchline and made it worse.
Wanted: Dead or Punderful.
“How the West Pun” starring Buffalo Bill.
He shot a joke once—it was overkill.
Buffalo Bill said my pun was “a rootin’ tootin’ mess.”
🧑💼 Name’s Bill – First Name, Dad Joke
Hi, I’m Bill. I charge for laughs.
Don’t trust Bill—he always has hidden charges.
Bill always foots the joke.
Every dad has a Bill. Every Bill has a dad joke.
I told Bill to quit joking—he invoiced me for it.
When Bill talks, laughter’s automatically deducted.
They call him Bill because he’s never paid attention.
I thought it was just a name—turns out, it’s a whole payment plan.
Bill says he’s pun-stoppable. We say he’s pun-reliable.
Bill’s so funny, his puns come with interest.
📺 Bill-Board Comedy Moments
My favorite movie? “Pun With a View” starring Bill.
He’s not on Netflix—he’s on Billflix.
Late night? More like Bill-o’clock!
Billboard said: “Now hiring: Pun Specialist (Must be named Bill).”
That show was billed as a comedy. They weren’t kidding.
My favorite sitcom? Everybody Loves Billing.
He advertised puns and delivered debts.
The commercial said “Free laughs.” I got billed.
Prime-time puns with Bill!
Late fees apply if you don’t laugh.
💳 Credit Where Credit Is Due (To Bill)
My card declined—Bill laughed.
Bills and chill? Only if you pay first.
I put my credit card in the microwave. Now it’s a hot mess.
Swipe right… or swipe your card.
I maxed out my joke credit. Bill’s furious.
My credit score dropped after reading this pun.
I applied for a laugh loan—got denied.
I tried to split the joke—Bill took all the credit.
He’s got a magnetic personality… just like my card.
Debt puns? They’re a laughing matter—until the interest hits.
🪙 Coin Toss Comedy
This joke’s a real flip of the coin.
I flipped a coin for luck—it landed on “pun.”
Heads: laugh. Tails: groan.
The coin said “you lose”—it was pun-ished.
I’m two-faced—just like my coin puns.
This joke’s worth every cent.
Coincidentally, I love bad jokes.
That pun had heads turning.
Flipping hilarious.
My coin puns? Worth their weight in groans.
FAQs
1. Are these jokes about money or people named Bill?
Both! We blend puns about dollar bills, monthly payments, and people named Bill.
2. Can I use these jokes in a presentation or skit?
Absolutely—just bring the laughs (and maybe a wallet)!
3. Are these jokes safe for kids?
Yes! They’re fun, light, and family-friendly.
4. Who’s the most joked-about Bill?
Probably Bill Gates—but we give equal giggles to all Bills!
5. Why so many money jokes?
Because humor is the only thing that’s still free.
6. Can I share these with coworkers?
Yes! Bonus points if you include them with their invoice.
7. Do you have more financial puns?
You bet—just check out PunsPlanet.com!
8. How can I write my own Bill puns?
Think about everyday “bills” and explore double meanings—wallets, names, payments!
9. What if I didn’t laugh?
We’ll send you an emotional refund.
10. Are there visual jokes too?
Not in this article—but feel free to meme it up!
Conclusion
Whether you’re dealing with actual bills, people named Bill, or just trying to balance the budget of your humor, these jokes prove that a little wordplay goes a long way. Life throws invoices, but we throw punchlines. And if your wallet’s empty, at least your heart is full… of laughter.
For more priceless puns, visit PunsPlanet.com—where every joke is a guaranteed return on giggles!
