Tired of swiping left on boring content? Ready to find something that actually makes you smile? Well, guess what—you’ve just matched with a hilarious collection of internet dating jokes that will leave you laughing harder than a cheesy Tinder pickup line.
From profile disasters and ghosting gags to digital romance gone hilariously wrong, this article brings you 200+ jokes about the wild, weird, and wonderful world of online dating. Whether you’re single, taken, or “it’s complicated,” this laugh fest is exactly what your love life ordered.
So grab your favorite dating app snack (chips and self-worth?), and let’s swipe into some side-splitting humor!
Profile Puns & Bio Blunders 📄
Her bio said “must love dogs,” so I showed up in a Dalmatian suit.
My dating profile says I’m 6’1″. In dog years.
I said I liked long walks… to the fridge.
He said “entrepreneur” but drives for Uber Eats.
Her profile said “plant mom.” I got jealous of a fern.
Looking for someone with a pulse. Preferably.
My profile said I enjoy candlelit dinners… because my power got cut off.
“Fluent in sarcasm” = emotional unavailability.
Swipe right if you like disappointment!
He said he’s “emotionally intelligent”… he just misspelled it.
Swipe Left Situations 👎
Swiped left so hard, I deleted the app.
That was a catfish with Wi-Fi.
Their profile picture was from 2012. So was the phone they used.
He said “model” — turns out, of trains.
“Not looking for anything serious” — so I sent a clown emoji.
Bio: “I’m not like other guys.” Proceeds to be exactly like them.
“I love adventures” = I once left my house.
I swiped left so many times, I got a thumb cramp.
“Lover of books.” Yeah, menus count, I guess.
Her photos were all sunglasses and filters… I met a walking emoji.
Swipe Right Surprises 👍
I swiped right and found my future ex.
Turns out we were both only on the app to spy on each other.
He brought a llama to the first date. 10/10.
She showed up on time. Unbelievable.
He actually looked like his pictures… from 10 years ago.
We both ordered the same thing… the exit.
We matched on a dating app… turns out we’re cousins.
Our first convo? A debate about pizza toppings. True love.
She brought her dog. I fell in love—with the dog.
The real matchmaker? Mutual dislike for pineapple on pizza.
First Date Fails 💔
We met online… stayed online.
He said “low-maintenance”—he meant no napkins.
She asked for sparkling water… and got offended when it fizzed.
He told me he was vegetarian. His steak said otherwise.
We had nothing in common… except awkward silence.
She said “I’m not crazy.” My red flags waved back.
He brought his mom. For real.
He said he was 6’2″… sitting down.
I wore a dress. He wore socks and sandals.
The check came. So did his emergency call.
Ghosting Gags 👻
He ghosted me so hard, I needed a séance.
She disappeared faster than my phone battery.
I thought we had a connection. Turns out, it was Wi-Fi.
We were great… until he ghosted and became Casper.
I messaged “hey,” and he ghosted. Guess it wasn’t haunting enough.
She vanished like my self-esteem.
Ghosted? More like poofed.
Our convo died faster than his interest.
I should’ve known—he was born on Halloween.
He ghosted me and I still sent “good morning” texts. #delulu
Red Flags & Dealbreakers 🚩
He said he loved “long-term commitment”… to video games.
She clapped when the plane landed. That was it.
His ringtone was Nickelback.
No bedsheets. Automatic unmatch.
Her favorite movie was her own Instagram story.
He said “vax-free and proud.” I ran.
His hobby was “lifting.” Spirits? Nope, weights. Constantly.
Asked what book he last read. He said, “I don’t believe in books.”
She called me “bruh” on the first date.
His cat had a restraining order. I didn’t ask.
Pickup Line Pains 💬
“Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
“You must be a keyboard, because you’re just my type.”
“Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m searching for.”
“You single? I’m double.”
“Swipe right so we can stop pretending we’re not lonely.”
“Let’s make like a USB port and connect.”
“Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
“I like your personality. Can I screenshot it?”
“Are you a 404 error? Because I can’t find anyone else like you.”
“You must be a match. Because I’m burning out.”
Long Distance Laughs 🧳
Our relationship had more buffering than progress.
We Zoomed more than we hugged.
She was in a different timezone. Emotionally, too.
Long-distance: because I love texting essays.
I kissed my webcam. It crashed.
We said “goodnight” four times a day.
His idea of long-distance was calling me from the kitchen.
We met once a year—romantic, right?
I flew across the world. He forgot I was coming.
She said, “Let’s do virtual dinner.” Then muted me.
Love in Emojis 💬❤️
❤️ + 🐱 = clingy with a cat
🥺👉👈 = emotional damage in text form
😍🔥 = too hot to handle
💀💔 = ghosted again
🏃💨💬 = running from emotional conversations
🍕🎮 = the modern love language
😎📸 = he takes selfies. A lot.
😂🧢 = lies but make it funny
🙄📵 = when he “forgets” to text back
💍📆 = proposed on a calendar invite
Romantic… Kind of 💌
He said, “You up?” I said, “For self-respect.”
She wrote me a poem… using my Tinder bio.
“I want something real.” Logs off Tinder.
“I’m not into labels.” That’s cool. I’m not into you.
“I’m looking for my player two.” Good luck—I’m unplugging.
“Want to hang?” Yeah, my hope.
“I don’t believe in love.” Cool, I don’t believe in replying.
“I miss you.” We matched yesterday.
“We have chemistry!” No, that’s awkwardness.
“I’d date you IRL.” IRL = In Really Lonely?
Dating App Desperation 😅
I redownloaded the app… for the 7th time this week.
I matched with my ex. The cycle continues.
“Just here for friends.” On a dating app? Really?
I liked their dog more than them.
I lowered my standards… and still got ghosted.
I messaged first. That was the real risk.
His bio said “semi-employed.” So… unemployed?
I’ve seen the same five people since 2020.
My match rate is lower than my phone battery.
“Why am I still single?” I ask as I swipe at 3 a.m.
Relationship Status: Complicated 💢
We’re dating, but he’s “not labeling things.”
Her ex still lives on the couch. Red flag or red sofa?
We’re exclusive… except on weekends.
He says he’s single. His Facebook says otherwise.
“It’s not you, it’s my Wi-Fi.”
I thought we were official. He thought I was optional.
“I’m emotionally available,” he said, while playing COD.
“We’re in an open relationship.” I was just unaware.
She loves me. She loves me not. She matched with my brother.
We’re so on and off, we could charge a battery.
Dating During a Pandemic 😷
Our first date was a Zoom call… with his mom in the background.
She wore a mask. I fell for the eyes.
We kissed… through a screen.
He sent me UberEats instead of flowers. 10/10.
Social distancing made my love life even more distant.
I got stood up—again—virtually!
He said “Let’s Netflix Party”… and didn’t press play.
We met IRL. My dog barked the whole time.
She said she’s COVID-free… of emotion too.
We sanitized, masked, and still—no spark.
Tech Trouble Love 💻
My phone died. So did our relationship.
I replied too late. Three years late.
Autocorrect turned “You’re cute” into “You’re cut.”
My app glitched and matched me with my boss.
I accidentally super liked my cousin.
My message got unsent. So did my hope.
Her Wi-Fi was stronger than our connection.
I sent a heart emoji… to the wrong person.
I voice messaged and sneezed. Romantic.
“Let’s FaceTime” turned into “Let’s never meet.”
Catfished & Confused 🎭
He looked 20. His driver’s license said 42.
She used filters so strong, I met a cartoon.
He was 6’2″… online.
Her dog was the real star.
“I’m a model” — of bad decisions.
He used Google stock images as profile pics.
She showed up and said, “Surprise!” I was.
I fell for a username.
He said he was vegan. Ate five burgers.
Catfished? No — shark-attacked.
Zodiac Dating Disasters ♋
“You’re a Scorpio? Bye.”
I lied and said I was a Libra to pass the vibe check.
“You seem like a Gemini.” I left.
Our signs weren’t compatible. Neither were we.
She asked for my moon sign before my name.
I dated a Leo. Never again.
“You’re an Aries? We’ll fight for sure.”
He asked if Mercury was in retrograde when I canceled.
She judged my rising sign harder than my resume.
“I’m a Cancer.” Same… emotionally.
Match Made in Awkward 🤷
I said “hi.” He replied “I do.”
I waved. She blocked.
Our convo was so dry, it needed lotion.
I called her “dude.” We never recovered.
She said “LOL” after every message. Even sad ones.
I accidentally sent a crying emoji.
He said “I like your aura.” I had COVID.
I sent a voice message. He replied with silence.
She said, “You remind me of my dad.”
I asked, “How’s your day?” He said, “I just got divorced.”
Dating App Burnout 🔥
All the bios blur together now.
I swiped through everyone in my city. Twice.
My thumbs need therapy.
I joined for love. I stayed for memes.
It’s like shopping for heartbreak.
“I’m over it.” Downloads new app.
He said, “I’m not like the others.” He was.
I miss real-life awkwardness.
I ran out of likes. Emotionally and literally.
I’m dating apps’ most loyal customer. Still single.
Digital Love & Breakups 📲💔
He broke up with me over emoji.
“It’s not you… it’s my signal.”
I got dumped… via meme.
She blocked me on all platforms—even Spotify.
We unfollowed each other. That was our breakup.
He changed his profile pic to “single” before telling me.
“We need to talk” = relationship update pending.
I found out I was dumped when his status changed.
She ghosted. Then liked my selfie.
We said goodbye. Then matched again. Oops.
Happily Ever After (Sort Of) 💍
We met online. We now send memes in sync.
He proposed… on Zoom.
She slid into my DMs. Now we share a mortgage.
We bonded over cat pics. Now we have two.
We used to swipe. Now we bicker over Netflix.
Our first message? “You up?” Our last? “Yes.”
He asked for my number. Now we’re married.
Her bio said “not serious.” Now we have twins.
I said “LOL” at his joke. He became my husband.
The app may be deleted, but the memories aren’t.
FAQs
Are these jokes based on real online dating experiences?
Many are inspired by real trends, fails, and tropes people encounter on dating apps.
Are these jokes suitable for all ages?
These jokes are PG to PG-13 — designed for older teens and adults.
Can I use these on my dating profile?
Definitely! Use them to break the ice or show off your sense of humor.
What’s a good dating app joke for a bio?
Try: “Let’s make like Wi-Fi and connect.”
Are there any jokes about ghosting?
Yes — ghosting gags are in Section 5. Don’t disappear before reading them!
Can I use these for a stand-up set or dating blog?
Yes! These are perfect for performances, blogs, or even awkward first dates.
Are any of these jokes about long-distance relationships?
Yep! Check out Section 8 for long-distance laughs.
What if my crush doesn’t laugh at these?
Then you may have dodged a red flag. Humor is a love language.
Can I request more joke categories?
Absolutely! Just tell us the topic and we’ll serve up the giggles.
Where can I find more joke articles like this?
Visit PunsPlanet.com for puns, punchlines, and pure joy!
Conclusion
Whether you’re hopelessly romantic or just hopeless at dating apps, these 200+ internet dating jokes prove one thing: love may come and go, but laughter? It always matches. From digital disasters to emoji awkwardness, swiping right on humor is always the best decision.
📱 Share the giggles with friends, tag your Tinder buddy, or post your favorite line! And if you want more pun-packed joy, visit PunsPlanet.com — where laughter is always one click away.
