Looking for a yellow-brick road straight to laughter? Then you’ve hit the jackpot like Homer finding free donuts at the nuclear plant breakroom. Whether you’re a longtime fan of The Simpsons or just love a solid “D’oh!”, this mega collection of Simpsons jokes brings 200+ groan-worthy, giggle-inducing puns and one-liners that’ll leave you saying, “Ay caramba!” From Moe’s Tavern mischief to Bart’s blackboard burns, this article is a hilariously nostalgic stroll through Springfield.
So grab a pink sprinkle donut, plop on the couch like Homer, and prepare to laugh harder than Krusty at his own punchline.
🍩 Donut Even Try to Resist
Why did Homer fail his diet? It was a hole-y war.
Donuts are Homer’s love language — and currency.
Lisa asked for kale, Homer brought cake with a hole.
Springfield runs on D’oh-nuts.
I tried to eat just one donut — I pulled a Homer.
That donut didn’t stand a glaze of a chance.
Bart’s prank? Filling donuts with mustard.
Donut disturb — Homer’s meditating with sprinkles.
Maggie’s first word? “D’ohnut.”
Even Ned prays for pink-frosted peace.
🧠 D’oh to the Brain
Homer’s thoughts: food, beer, nap… repeat.
Bart said he inherited Homer’s brain — sadly, it’s still under warranty.
Lisa joined MENSA; Homer thought it was a pizza topping.
“Think fast!” — not Homer’s strong suit.
If brains were donuts, Homer would still eat his.
Marge said Homer’s brain is a one-room apartment.
“D’oh!” is Homer’s default setting.
Bart cheats on tests; Homer cheats on thinking.
Moe once lent Homer a book — it became a coaster.
Lisa’s brain: Mozart. Homer’s: Mozzarella.
🎒 Bart-fully Funny
Bart’s report card is sponsored by detention.
He skateboards faster than Homer running from responsibility.
His motto? “Why learn when you can prank?”
Chalkboards fear him.
Bart’s spirit animal is a whoopee cushion.
Bart’s idea of a study session: hide and seek.
His GPS always reroutes to Principal Skinner’s nightmares.
Bart calls his homework “creative fiction.”
He prank calls 911 just to hear the hold music.
Even Milhouse got a better grade than Bart. Ouch.
💙 Marge-in for Error
Marge’s hair has its own zip code.
She stores secrets and snacks in that beehive.
She doesn’t yell — she gently guilt trips.
Her patience level is over 9000 (especially with Homer).
Marge’s cookbooks are 50% recipes, 50% sighs.
She’s Springfield’s real MVP — Most Valuable Parent.
Even her eye-rolls are motherly.
She once grounded Homer.
Her vacuuming is ASMR to Ned.
Marge’s advice: calm down, clean up, carry on.
🍺 Moe’s Tavern Troubles
Moe’s bar is 99% beer, 1% tears.
He once tried to host trivia — it ended in a food fight.
His customer service is legally considered assault.
Moe’s life motto: “No refunds, no regrets.”
He pours his feelings like he pours drinks — badly.
His bar smells like broken dreams and onion rings.
Moe got ghosted by a jukebox.
He once got catfished by Bart in disguise.
Moe is the human version of “last call.”
Even his beer nuts are depressed.
🟨 D’oh! Moments Galore
Homer tried to toast bread… in the bathtub.
Lisa asked for a hug, Homer offered a burrito.
He mistook a fire alarm for the oven timer.
Homer’s retirement plan: “Just wing it.”
He tried to fix the sink — flooded the garage.
D’oh! is his response to oxygen.
He got stuck in a vending machine. Twice.
His version of “adulting” is adding bacon.
He once wore a tie to bed.
Homer’s memory is like his fridge light — flickering.
📚 Lisa-telligence
Lisa reads books thicker than Homer’s skull.
She asked for a microscope for Christmas — got binoculars.
Her bedtime stories include physics.
Lisa once debated a Nobel laureate — and won.
Even her saxophone solos do homework.
She tried to explain string theory to Santa’s Little Helper.
Lisa doesn’t play — she overachieves.
She recycles everything, including Bart’s comebacks.
Lisa’s dream vacation? A math camp.
She once built a solar panel from chewing gum.
🛐 Pray for Ned
Flanders blesses sneezes from other ZIP codes.
He once prayed for the TV during a blackout.
His idea of wild? Decaf after 7 PM.
Ned says “diddly” more than people say “hello.”
His Wi-Fi password is “godlovesnet.”
Even his sins come with apologies.
Ned mows lawns for therapy.
He gave out kale on Halloween. Bold.
His fridge has more holy water than soda.
Even the devil finds Ned too nice.
🎤 Krusty Komedy
Krusty’s laugh can shatter glass—and dreams.
His jokes come pre-packaged with groans.
He once lost a pie fight with a mime.
His “kids love me” tour was shut down by toddlers.
Krusty’s makeup is just paint and regrets.
He sells merch and broken promises.
His fan mail comes from himself.
He once performed at a silent auction — and lost.
His stand-up special was literally standing up for 2 hours.
Krusty’s catchphrase? “Where’s my money?”
🕵️♂️ Chief of Gags
Wiggum’s badge is made of chocolate.
He arrests people for looking suspicious… at donuts.
His detective work is 99% guessing.
He once tasered himself. On purpose.
Ralph makes more sense than him sometimes.
His lie detector is a Magic 8-Ball.
“Book ’em, Lou” means write it on a napkin.
His siren goes “woo-hoo” when he’s happy.
Wiggum’s crime-fighting tool: snack bribes.
He once handcuffed himself to the car door.
🐷 Spider-Pig Specials
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig, does whatever a bacon does.
His web is just spaghetti sauce.
Homer tried to teach him tricks — he taught Homer.
He once got stuck in a donut box.
His theme song is more iconic than Bart’s slingshot.
He’s pork-tagonist of the movie.
Springfield’s only hero with cloven hooves.
He climbed the ceiling and Homer fainted.
He snorts justice and crumbs.
Spider-Pig is truly the Ham-azing.
🧨 Itchy & Scratchy Show-stoppers
More violent than Bart’s report card.
Their friendship is legally questionable.
Itchy’s weapon of choice? Chaos.
Scratchy has more lives than cats should.
They put Tom & Jerry in therapy.
Every episode ends in a lawsuit.
Their fanbase? Slightly terrified.
Krusty profits from their pain.
Itchy once used a toaster. For revenge.
Scratchy’s screams = classic cartoon ambiance.
💼 Mr. Burns Roasts
His net worth is older than gravity.
Burns still writes checks.
He thinks the sun is a competitor.
“Excellent” is his idea of flirting.
His pet peeve? Warm soup.
Burns has a 9-to-5 stare.
He’s powered entirely by evil and tea.
His password is “password.”
He once tried to adopt Bart. For spare organs.
Smithers does 110% of the work. Literally.
🥛 Milhouse Moments
He has a crush on everything, including oxygen.
His glasses fog up from his own fear.
Bart says jump; Milhouse says how high, then trips.
He’s allergic to gym class and compliments.
His voice cracks more than Springfield’s sidewalks.
He tried to grow a mustache. It ran away.
His spirit animal is a worrywart.
He once got friend-zoned by a pencil sharpener.
Milhouse wears floaties in the bathtub.
Even Ralph outcool-ed him once.
🛠️ Springfield Shenanigans
The town motto? “Barely holding it together.”
Their mayor’s campaign slogan: “Eh, good enough.”
Their annual parade ends in small fires.
Everyone’s been arrested… twice.
Springfield’s “normal” is anyone else’s nightmare.
Their library rents flamethrowers.
The Kwik-E-Mart stocks expired hope.
Their hospital motto: “We try.”
Even aliens avoid this town.
Springfield’s economy runs on sarcasm.
🎬 Troy McClure Cameos
“You may remember me from such bad jokes as…”
He narrates everything, even his dreams.
Troy McClure is Springfield’s answer to Hollywood’s leftovers.
His dating history includes fish and fans.
He tried improv once — the audience left.
His filmography is one big inside joke.
Troy never met a camera he didn’t kiss.
Even his cologne smells like washed-up roles.
“This is Troy McClure — and I’m still trying.”
You may remember this joke from earlier in the article!
🎓 Springfield Elementary Woes
The lunch lady uses “mystery” as a seasoning.
Skinner is 80% stress, 20% steamed hams.
The school bell is just a guy yelling.
Detention is practically a major.
Ralph eats glue… and dreams.
The school mascot is just a raccoon in a hat.
Miss Hoover gave up — and that was in Season 3.
Their textbooks date back to the 1800s.
Even the mice have tenure.
Every substitute teacher quits before recess.
🧢 Cletus & Country Funnies
Cletus has more cousins than brain cells.
His truck runs on moonshine and hope.
He’s the mayor of backroads.
He once got a pet rock pregnant.
His hat doubles as a cereal bowl.
Cletus’s idea of Wi-Fi is yelling really loud.
He thinks email is a female donkey.
He proposed with a ring pop.
He’s got 47 kids and 2 sporks.
“Toothbrush” is a family heirloom.
🗣️ Springfield Sassy Sayings
“Ay caramba!” = Bart’s battle cry.
“Don’t have a cow, man!” Unless it’s dinner.
“Excellent…” — the sound of mischief loading.
“Hi-diddly-ho!” — the most cursed greeting.
“Mmm… donuts” — also Homer’s autobiography.
“Eat my shorts!” — now available in 5 languages.
“I choo-choo-choose you” — love via pun express.
“Worst. Joke. Ever.” — Comic Book Guy’s review incoming.
“I bent my Wookiee!” — the Ralphest thing ever said.
“That’s the joke.” — when reality mimics Krusty.
FAQs
Conclusion
From itchy pranks to scratchy laughs, The Simpsons is more than just a cartoon — it’s a cornerstone of comedy, a playground for puns, and a Springfield-shaped part of our hearts. These Simpsons jokes bring the yellow chaos to life, reminding us that behind every “D’oh!” is a little joy, a lot of laughter, and maybe one too many donuts. So go ahead, share a pun, prank like Bart, think like Lisa, and always—always—keep laughing like Homer on cheat day.
